(Relationship) Goals: Tips and 5 Reasons You Should Have One

Relationship goals? Do we actually need one? Just like me I’m sure you are wondering too. Well…if we need personal goals and professional goals, then relationship goals are a must too. And why? Because, in the age of technology when we have very little time for ourselves, leave alone our partners, we need to make time for “us” for happiness and for better health. Yes! you read it right. Positive relationship contributes to a long and healthy life. And it is quite unfortunate that we give least importance to something so important for our well-being. So, pick up your notepads and start charting your couple goals now!

So, what kind of goals are we talking about? These are basically those things that we need to do to keep our relationship with our partner strong. Therefore, we must sit together, talk about how we think of our future together and plan what we need to sow today to reap tomorrow. Here are some goals to help you get started. Of course, you may have your own based on your needs .

1. Create a Couple Bubble: I was very fascinated by this term when I read about the ‘couple bubble’ in an article. According to relationship therapist, Harriet Pappenheim, LCSW, couple bubble means putting ‘us’ first and thinking of the team ‘we’ before ‘me’. This may sound very easy but in practice, it is not always easy to sacrifice independent needs and habits. But if you are able to do it, you feel strong, safe and cherished.
2. Embrace Each Other’s Weakness: If not always, many partners enter a relationship with a past baggage. Over time, when they feel comfortable with one another, they start sharing their secrets with each other with the hope of finding solace. In a situation like this, both partners must respect the other’s past and secrets and never ever throw it on the other’s face or disparage it. Embracing each other’s wounds can be comforting and strengthening.
3. What’s Your Love Language: In his very popular book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts, Gary Chapman elaborates that there are five ways in which people express and experience love. Well…I’m going to talk about that here. Love Language is a way through which each partner expresses his/her deepest needs within the relationship. Go, read the book and find out what your love language is. Once you know that, support each other’s love language because both of you may not have the same love language. Voila! Half the work is done!
4. Support Each Other’s Goals: While this may sound contradictory to point 1, but this is important too. There may be times when you may need to respect and value each other’s individual goals. Every time, personal goals cannot be sacrificed for relationship goals. Work it out with each other to know which personal goal cannot be sacrificed and make sure you support each other towards achieving it.
5. Spice Up Your Sex Life: Well…This may be easy in the first few years of your married life. But, after a decade or so it may become mundane and boring. Though it is not much discussed about, but maintaining a satisfying sexual life is an important goal that many often ignore. It is important to talk about it and communicating your needs and fantasies to your partner to have a more intimate relationship. This may feel uncomfortable first, but over time, it becomes breezy!
6. Review Your Goals: As important as it is to make goals, it is equally important to review them, to see what went right, what has to be changed, what went wrong and how things can be altered to bring back the spark.

Of course, you can have a zillion goals of your own and it can be as personal and intimate as you want it to be, but it should be do-able and both of you must be into it.

5 Reasons Why You Must Have Give In To Relationship Goals:

1. To keep the (love) spark burning, no matter how many years you’ve been into the relationship.
2. To help and support one another to become a stronger “we”.
3. To consciously take out time for each other, no matter how busy the schedule.
4. To set example for others in your friends and family circle to follow 🙂
5. To constantly want and feel wanted whether you live together or are in a long-distant relationship.

This post is part of the month-long #BlogchatterA2Z 2019, where we blog about a word everyday. Today’s letter is G. To see my post on letter F, click here. Keep following my posts all through the month as I explore relationships through A to Z.