U didnt choose me,
Maybe you wouldnt have,
if you had a choice…
But despite that
we bonded so well,
because it was the purest form of love.
And yet,
I’ve often questioned your love,
I’ve tested your patience,
I’ve made you cry,
But you never gave up…
And suddenly over the years,
While everything looked the same,
I suddenly noticed.,
you tilted more towards her.
Was this really happening?
Or was it just Me and my imagination?
I couldn’t take it,
Now it was my turn to
burn and cry
But you never knew
Because my tears were hidden,
As I pretended to smile.
And today, U are in another world
You left without a warning,
I am numbed, I am shocked,
And yet,
I often talk to you,
I confess and share,
I wonder what you’re doing.
I dream, I imagine you everywhere,
And yet one question that haunted me then troubles me still,
Do you indeed love her more than me?
Today marks one year since my mother left for her journey to another world. This is a tribute to her love, a love I received in abundance and yet, wasn’t satisfied. I always believed that my sister was a recipient of more love and attention than me, something that I have never been able to make peace with.
“This post is a part of ‘UMeU’ Poetry Blog Hop #UMeUBlogHop organized by Manas Mukul . The hop is brought to you by Soul Craft and You, Me & The Universe.”
Featured Image pic courtesy: Josh Willink from Pexels
janakiweb.wordpress.com 
This poem is a genuine reflection of your grief, your pain, and more importantly, your love.
I can only hope your pain ceases, and the love only grows.
(((HUGS)))
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Thanks, Priyanka.
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Losing a parent is one of those experiences that change you forever, I have been there. This evoked deep empathy
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Mother’s love is unconditional and am sure she loved you to the core. This anger is something even I faced when my dad suddenly left us. Maybe it’s a part of grief and it’s not easy. Very well written poem. Hugs and much love.
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Indeed….the love and concern of a parent is unmatched.
Thanks for your kind words
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Thanks, Pooja ji.
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That is indeed a heartfelt and beautiful poem. Losing a parent is never easy and your emotions can be felt in every word.
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It’s difficult to fill her space in your life, and living with memories is all we have. The universe and its ways and beyond our control, all we can do is keep the faith and play our role. A nice poem reflecting your love as well as grief.
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Thank you, Parchi.
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Loosing someone close and if that happened to be your mother nothing can heal that pain and fill theatvoid. Lots of love and strength to you and believe me she loved you more than anyone.
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Yes, that true. Thanks.
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How soulful are your words buddy as they came straight from the heart, loved your tribute and I felt the same for my brother.
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Loved your poem straight from the heart. I can understand the pain you feel. Such a soulful piece. Lots of hugs to you.
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This is short and crisp yet deep and impactful. It stays with you. I empathise with your emotions. Losing a parent is never easy and if it happens with some unanswered questions… Its like a never healing wound. As siblings this doubt always surfaces. Kudos to you for honesty. You know I appreciate always for that.
On the other hand I love the part that you attempted poetry and I can’t thank you enough for a to be a part of the #UMeUBlogHop.
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Thank you for your kind words, Manas. Want to be part of your workshop but somehow the dates always are not working for me.
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What a beautiful piece Janaki ji. You poured your heart out in this one. Loved your tribute to your mother.
I often talk to you,
I confess and share,
I wonder what you’re doing.
I dream, I imagine you everywhere.
these lines simply touched my heart.
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These words just touch the core of my heart as could resonate with each every word as I too have the same grief of September bleeds, just too good.
May her soul rest in peace and may Almighty give you strength to bear her loss.🥺
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So heartfelt a parent is the relationship that God gives us right from our birth losing them is so painful and I am sorry for your irreplaceable loss.
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Sibling Rivalry is rarely talked of so honestly and so poetically. It was an honor to read this precious and private slice of memory you shared. Beautiful writing.
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The emotions were aptly placed using the crisp words, they mean so much! Absolute tribute! Hugs and love to you 🙂
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A very heartfelt poem that has all the ingredients of grief, pain, memories and boundless love towards your mother! Hugs to you, Janaki.
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I am crying after reading your poem. Losing a parent is never easy. You have used your words so wisely and beautifully that it left me with strong emotions.
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The void of losing the parent can never be filled. I can feel you, Janki Ji. Your pain and discontentment are clearly visible in every word. A heartfelt tribute by a daughter to her mom. Hugs and love.
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The hallmark of any great writing is the impact it leaves on the reader. This was raw, unedited and direct, a dialogue that induces thought. Even in the phase of unconditional love, doubts and questions do arise. Mothers nor daughters can be expected to be perfect.
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Thanks Namratha. A comment from you, a wonderful poet herself, means a lot to me.
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Well I feel a parent’s love cannot be biased but I respect your emotions. Your love, your pain and your loss is evident in your words. May peace prevail upon your woes.
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Speechless by your pain and mesmerized by the emotions they made me feel. Loved every word.
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Heartfelt words and sincere expression, Janaki.
You have actually shared your deepest feelings.
Sibling rivalry is common as all want extra attention of parents.
I share your pain. Loss of a loved one- that too mother- is always felt.
Having lost my mother too, I can assure you that there will be times when you can sense her grace.
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The loss of a parent is the most dreaded thought that crosses my mind quite often, can feel your pain and sibling rivalry expressed so honestly is what I appreciate…beautiful poem, loved it, Janaki
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A child can never get enough from her mother as we always look for more. Your each line in the poetry was instant connection with the readers, you should pen more often.
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The relationship of a mother and daughter is unique and I love the way you have highlighted the insecurities in the relationship. Warm hugs to you. I am sure your mother is blessing you from heaven.
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Indeed….you are right. Thanks.
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Why don’t we get a chance to say the last goodbye? Or it’s because we could never say goodbye? Your pain is deeply reflected in your words, Janaki!
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