No matter how much content on ‘motherhood’ occupies cyberspace, there’s still more to add. Each woman has a unique experience in birthing and rearing children. No matter how old children grow, this ‘lifetime project’ never ends — there is absolutely no light at the end of the tunnel here. This phase of life doesn’t come with a manual and is a giant hole you are thrust into. You don’t even realise how deep it is until you start crawling out.
The best part is, every time you grin and bear a certain phase only to realise the next one is far worse than any of the previous ones. Until two years ago, my son was the most loving and affectionate child. He would absolutely dote on me and would worry and care about me. Fast forward to 2 years — not a day goes by when we don’t pick up a fight — every minute that we are together, we hardly see eye to eye on anything now. I try to keep calm, reminding myself that he’s entering the teens and hence it’s the hormones playing havoc; otherwise, he’s the best child. But I am not able to stick to this thought for over 10 seconds.
They say motherhood is expansive. It’s supposed to make you think broader, but when you experience a roller-coaster ride from day one, it’s not easy to stay sane at all times. There’s physical strain, fatigue, mental pressure, societal pressure, and family pressure and when all that adds up, there is a tipping point. And yet, despite all the stress and strain, it is extremely painful when any mistake a child makes is attributed to the mother! Notice how no one points a single finger at the father — Never! If your child is a fussy eater, if he/she doesn’t mingle well with other kids, doesn’t perform well in school, misbehaves with other kids — anything — the first number that is dialled is that of the mother! Even here, there is no shared responsibility. Unfair, don’t you agree?
This is not a rant post. This is an attempt to ask for some kindness, some love towards that woman who spends an extra 9 months with a child within herself. Doesn’t she deserve a hug, a warm cup of coffee, some “me” time, a solo trip, and more? Have you ever asked a mother how she is coping? Does she need help? Is she OK? Have you ever consoled a mother saying, Don’t bother…go, get some sleep.” The next time, make sure you do! Stop judging; extend a hand — that’s what a mother looks forward to. This is not asking for more, isn’t it?
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted byCindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads’ Cookhouse.
#365days365stories
janakiweb.wordpress.com 
There is no end to motherhood, my dear. You have to steal your me time. Every age is a challenge. But I hear you. I had a hard time at 20 with my son. Yes, we should seek help and others should pitch in.
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After reading your post. I just felt that for parents, it’s an equally disturbing process when children develop their own thoughts and ideas. I think both deserve to be nurtured, but I guess moms do have the harder role, as they tend to be the giver.
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Motherhood indeed isn’t only the most toughest job but the only job that once you get would be a one to keep till you hit your grave. Despite that, the great things motherhood brings to someone is something that no one can compare to as well. It’s a one in a kind love that you’ll never feel and see anywhere.
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Tell me about it Janaki… you’ve voiced the words of sooooooo many mothers. I can totally feel you. Motherhood is a tough thankless job really n you never retire from it.
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I so agree with you. All a mother needs is understanding and support on her emotions. She does not need judgment and expert taunts by other women. The major issue is in our culture women only bring down other women on motherhood and instead of understanding and supporting each other they try to bring each other down.
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Firstly a big hug to you. I so feel you. Being a mother is perhaps an extremely ungrateful job. I get comments such as “Your child is so skinny”, “They have glasses at such a young age” etc and so on. it did affect me at first, but now I’ve turned the game on them. I answer with “Yes I eat all their food” or “My children are ‘specsy’ like their parents”. It rubs people the wrong way and gets the message across. Try it and don’t let anyone’s opinion bother you.
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Absolutely. You never stop being a mother even if your grandchildren are grown up. Mothers aren’t superwomen. They are humans too and need a break sometimes.
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The word MOTHER is a pure and golden word and we all know how important this person is in each one of our lives. Be it a birth giving mother or an adoptive mother, a human mother or a furry mother… there is no complete definition of mother which can describe this creation of god completely. The role of a mother is vast and she needs to take so much stress and pressure on her only just to ensure her baby is safe and healthy. Yes, she deserves a JADU KA JHAPPI from us to make her feel cared, loved and special. I know many who truly care for their mothers and there are many who wish too but circumstances dont give them that privilege. But just take some time out if you are far away from her to give a call and talk. It will help to make her feel really special. The post is very well penned.
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There are so many expectations from mothers. Expected to be superwomen. Yet they are often the first to be blamed or picked on. High-time people stopped judging mothers and their parenting.
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Mothers are blessings and so their children are. we can never make this relationship get written in words. Motherhood phase and how son facing the issues when entering into teens, I think every mother should check your post once. You have truly uplifted all facts that actually many mothers face in reality.
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What a magnificent piece! So relatable! Ask this from a Mom of two who is trying to be a good mom and has left everything for the sake of her kids
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Ur post just gives me a highlight on what is gonna happen after a few years, however I feel its a phase of time children wont realize the base of the argument the young age anger but when they actually fall into ur shoes they will realize what they did and definitely remember when their kids do the same with them.
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I can hear you dear. I am in the same boat. I have to steal my ME time at least once a week. We have to gather that strength to be with full of energy throughout the week. Even I want to go on Solo trip😐 kab ? Pata nah I.
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I can hear your Janaki … This post brings up an important point about the often-overlooked emotional and physical toll that motherhood can take on women. The idea that mothers should receive more support and care from their communities is certainly a valid one.
It’s also crucial to ask mothers how they are coping and if they need help, as many mothers may not ask for help but could certainly benefit from it. Expressing empathy and compassion towards mothers can go a long way in making them feel seen and valued.
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Wonderful! I am sure all mothers must connect with this. We get involved in motherhood so much that sometimes making ourselves a priority also seems unnecessary. But a fact that we all mothers should know that we must take time
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True- I may not be a mother but I can see that motherhood is a neverending project and perhaps one of the most rewarding ones you can undertake in life
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There’s so much I want to say in agreement of your post, but nothing ell ever be enough. I hope that one day mothers and women at large get their due, and not just empty words of praise on a few days in a year!
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Hugs, Janaki. As the mother of a teenager I know exactly how difficult it is to see your loving child turn on you for no reason. If no one else will, we should be kind to ourselves. Take a break and dont be guilty about it!
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Motherhood to be sure, is not only the most difficult occupation but also the most important job that, once obtained, you will keep until you die. Regardless of that, the incredible things parenthood brings to somebody are something that nobody can contrast with. A one-in-a-kind love you won’t ever feel or see anywhere.
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Woah, finally someone said it. Motherhood indeed is a project that has no manual yet where everyone has something to say when it comes to a mother raising her children. Hugs to you, teenage is a phase which is indeed very difficult for us and for them. I remember how difficult I was! Nevertheless, every mother needs compassion without comparison, kindness without judgement to be able to parent.
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Definitely, a hug , a smile , a word of acceptance, a mug of coffee and appreciation go a long way to help women as you said.
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Awww sending you lots of love. This is a tough phase but all moms fortunately are tough cookies too.
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