Recently, after a really long break, I downloaded a bestseller on my Kindle to get back to reading. A very interesting book, I almost read the first half in a very short time. It is a story of survival of the writer in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany. The details are as expected, very disturbing to say the least, and just when I was tempted to skip those pages, I was reminded of the fact that many had to actually undergo them; for them the ‘skip’ option was not available. That made me continue to read on, to know more.
The immediate lessons learnt from the unfinished book are many and that’s what tempted me to write this unplanned post:
- As the writer quotes Nietzsche, if you have a why to live, the how will automatically be possible.
- When we pass through extreme agonizing moments, for instance the loss of someone really close, we must try and understand and reason with the loss that will help us find the meaning to live on. An example that has stayed with me in this context is of a man who came for therapy upon the loss of his wife because he loved her so much and was finding it onerous to continue to live without her by his side. The therapist asked him to imagine how it would have been for his wife without him, for which his response was, “terrible”. Hence the patient was asked to believe that he made the sacrifice by allowing his wife to go earlier so that she doesn’t have to suffer and he has taken that over him. If you really love someone that much, this may not be difficult to understand and deal with. And as for me, I think the explanation is brilliant.
- Life does not cease when we lose someone dear, but nevertheless, we need to carry on. The sooner we can make peace with the situation, the faster is the healing. Of course, the emotional void will continue to haunt for a long time.
- When you are in the most depressing moments and contemplate suicide, you must try to overcome that and imagine a situation post the traumatizing moments. Everything in life is a phase and has to end. Nothing is permanent. If you can imagine the good times that are to follow once the dark clouds move, every detail of how it will be, how you are going to be in it, you will certainly be able to pull yourself through. Of course, the biggest drawback here is, you don’t know the exact date when the the curtain is going to come down. But it helps to have a little more patience and stay optimistic.
With so many young people facing depression and contemplating suicide, this post is a continuation of my previous posts on the same topic. Situations may be tough, but it is up to you to allow to decide your reaction to it. You certainly cannot control what happens externally, but you definitely can control your response to it. I know that many might think that its easy for me to preach because I’m not stuck in a situation like this. But then, what we need now is more of positive thoughts, a helping hand, a shoulder to lean on and a small light at the end of the tunnel. Imagine, if people could survive the Nazi concentration camp– where every second was unpredictable, the torture and brutality was inhuman, where there was no hope with death and disease around– aren’t we all in a better position? If you think you can, YOU WILL.
Think of that one reason to continue– it could be anything–to see your child grow up, to finish an unfinished degree, to gain success– anything big or small, but nevertheless, important to YOU. That alone will give you the strength to go on. And go on, you must. Death is never a solution to your problems. It simply brings an end to this birth. Remember, the problems will follow you to the next birth when times might be worse. If you are in an abusive relationship, for instance, walk out of it. Don’t put an end to your life. So, stay strong and take a deep breathe. You are stronger than you can ever imagine. Arise and stop not until you are free again– free to fly, to soar great heights.